Becoming Barren

So I’ll never know how it feels

To conceive a brand new life

I’ll never have a little soul occupy

That womb that has caused so much strife

I’ll never know that overwhelming joy

The miracle of a positive test

The blessing of creating with someone you love

Another human that comprises the best

Of both of you (or at least one hopes!)

That can carry your family line on

A tiny person, a joint work of art

That you can bathe in love

I’ll never have a being to nurture

To fret over and to scold

I’ll never have to worry if they come home late

So I guess I’m spared, I suppose

Free to be as selfish as I please

And not contribute to the human race

I’ll never endure stretch marks

Or excruciating labour pains

I won’t fulfil my female ‘purpose’

For my machinery is faulty and broken

I won’t ever know that pregnancy glow

Now the powers that be have spoken

Instead I’ll be rendered a shell of a woman

Intact to the outside world

But I will know and a chosen few

That I’m really incomplete to behold

Have I regrets? Will I weep and mourn?

I hope not, though the nightmares have begun

Although deep down I think I always knew

I’d never become a mum

Somewhere in my psyche

The trauma has already started

Dreams of pushing prams, cradling a bundle

Persist suggesting I’m subconsciously broken-hearted…

So behind the scenes

A part of me grieves

For the life I will never create

But these are the cards

I’ve been dealt by the Gods

And I must accept my fate

I never believed myself fit

To be an effective mother

Never was I maternal, in fact

But assumed it was a decisive act, that’s the trouble

It was never set in stone

And the ‘fairer’ sex can change her mind!

There was always an element of choice

But henceforth of that I’ll be deprived

Barren Sharon

Will I be rendered

How I used to laugh at that pun!

Now it is all

I can think about

And I ain’t laughing for it’s no longer fun

Shit got serious

But no one died

If I’d told you I was devastated

I’d actually have lied

Rather, I’m saddened

Emotional, yes

But thus far I’m not

A gibbering wreck

And when I slumber

I can visit them there

The ghosts of those babies

I shall never now bear.

Unrequited

Harbouring feelings

That won’t subside

Said and done all I can

But still they continue to arise

You say you’ve got someone

You’re quite besotted with

Guess that’s all I need to know

For I’ve nothing more to give

Guess I’ll have to resist

That urge to fold you in my arms

Guess I’m paralysed

For I cannot make you feel what you can’t

For a while there it seemed you felt the same

Guess I read the signs all wrong

Guess it’s me who is to blame

For allowing my fantasies to run amock

For sensing something that maybe wasn’t there

For allowing my head to believe

For chasing a rainbow that was made of thin air

And evaporated when I drew near

It felt so real – almost palpable

A current so strong I shook

But it was unsustainable

And suddenly the power was cut

Everything else remained the same

But the surge was no longer present

Try as I might it wouldn’t reignite

Which inevitably led to torment

So I poured it all out

In the hope I could capture

That vital piece

Of your heart – make it rapture

I should’ve known then

That things were not flowing

When you missed my point

And started joking

But eventually

We had the talk

You set the record straight

And now I have to walk

But I’m carrying with me

An unwanted gift

That part of me I wanted someone to cherish

That I must now set adrift

Off on the ocean

Of unrequited love

They float away, these unrealised dreams

That had seemed to fit like a glove.

FREE THE WORLD – DO THEY KNOW ITS CHRISTMAS TIME 2020?

FREE THE WORLD – DO THEY KNOW ITS CHRISTMAS TIME 2020?
This Christmas time
There’s every reason to be afraid
This Christmas time
We cannot mix
That’s what Boris says
 
Cause in this year of 2020
We can spread a deadly plague
Don’t fold your arms around your loved ones
This Christmas time
 
In spite of our prayers
They found another strain
This Christmas time, effectively
We’re locked down again
 
There’s world outside your window
And it’s a world of dreaded fear
Where the only water flowing
Is sanitiser and tighter Tiers
 
And the Christmas bells that ring
Are the clanging chimes of doom
Cause tonight we live in fright
It’s sad but true!
 
And there won’t be families
Congregating this Christmas time, no,
The greatest gathering allowed’s on Zoom
 
Where we just sit alone
In isolation at home
Playing to the camera like caged goons!
 
Here’s to you:
Wear your mask, avoid everyone!
Here’s to them:
Imprisoning us inside our homes!
 
Do we know it’s Christmas time at all?????
 
FREE THE WORLD!
LET US OUT – IT’S CHRISTMAS TIME!
FREE THE WORLD
LET US OUT – IT’S CHRISTMAS TIME!
FREE THE WORLD
LET US OUT – IT’S CHRISTMAS TIME!
FREE THE WORLD
LET US OUT – IT’S CHRISTMAS TIME AGAIN.
 

Free The World – Do They Know It’s Christmas?!

This Christmas time

There’s every reason to be afraid

This Christmas time

We cannot mix

That’s what Boris says

Cause in this year of 2020

We can spread a deadly plague

Don’t fold your arms around your loved ones

This Christmas time

In spite of our prayers

They found another strain

This Christmas time, effectively

We’re locked down again

There’s world outside your window

And it’s a world of COVID fear

Where the only water flowing

Is sanitiser and tighter Tiers

And the Christmas bells that ring

Are the clanging chimes of doom

Cause tonight we live in fright

It’s sad but true!

And there won’t be families

Congregating this Christmas time, no,

The greatest gathering allowed’s on Zoom

Where we just sit alone

In isolation at home

Playing to the camera like caged goons!

Here’s to you:

Wear your mask, avoid everyone!

Here’s to them:

Imprisoning us inside our homes!

Do we know it’s Christmas time at all?????

FREE THE WORLD!

LET US OUT – IT’S CHRISTMAS TIME!

FREE THE WORLD WORLD

LET US OUT – IT’S CHRISTMAS TIME!

FREE THE WORLD

LET US OUT – IT’S CHRISTMAS TIME!

FREE THE WORLD

LET US OUT – IT’S CHRISTMAS TIME AGAIN.

Sucker-Punching The Solstice

NOTHING to look forward to

What’s the point of this f**king existence?!

Society closed for the foreseeable

And no outraged, united resistance!

Under house arrest

Christmas cancelled for the first time in history

The government dictates and we cower and obey

Complicit in our own f**king misery!

Incandescent with rage

I’m pacing inside my gilded cage

Climbing the bloody walls

I’m incensed and so sick of it all

How can this be tolerated?

The saga goes on and on

Businesses going bust, a breach of trust

And it’ll continue in 2021!

It’s inhumane what is happening

Suicides will go through the roof

We have to put a stop to this sh*t

Do you think forced isolation is better than the truth?!

We can’t all live like this

I’ve had beyond a gutful

A pox on the population alright

It’s worse than a living hell

Where’s our backbone?

They’ve got us on our knees!

The only way is up –

Resist for Godsake, please!

They are in the minority

And allegedly are appointed by us

If we put them in power we can bring them down

For bringing us to breaking point – we must!

Even in wartime

Christmas Day marked a truce

It’s a universal festival

But this year completely cooked is everyone’s goose

If we let them get away with this

This tyranny will just get worse

We mustn’t comply – we all must fight

And lift this satanical curse

I don’t know what the endgame is

But I’m educated as to all the theories

That frequently now are becoming reality

And I’m beyond despairing and weary

You cannot escape it

For it’s a global nightmare

Sinister and surreal

In your face it stares

And it’s not friggin COVID

Thats the enemy

It’s a systemic eroding

Of our civil liberties

Just in time for the Winter Solstice

To harness the power therein

And the astrological alignment

Of Jupiter and Saturn once again

The first time in eons

This has come to pass

A critical time energetically

I just pray that this evil it can counteract!

The Black Sheep

Christmas looms

After a dismal year

2020 is finally on its way out

Yet still we are being urged to exist in fear

I say ‘exist’

Because this isn’t living

Being imprisoned

Divided at a time when we all should be giving

And uniting

To celebrate

Showing our love

Instead of having to isolate

Instead we can’t socialise

Or travel very far

The economy’s in dire straights

And times are really hard

Conflicting advice

Dubious statistics

Literally reduced to Tiers

And a threatened third lockdown is driving us ballistic

The population is divided

As some conform and some rebel

While others sit somewhere in the middle

And what ensues is akin to hell

Constantly having

To watch what you say

Palpable paranoia

As long standing friends fall out due to the state of play

Snitching and sniping

Grassing each other up

The people police

Standing in judgement – WTF?!

Live and let live

That is my rule

Don’t inflict your morals on anyone else

Unless you’ve walked in their shoes

I’m exasperated with this nightmare

How much longer can it last?

If this virus is so deadly

Why aren’t the streets piled up with corpses, might I ask?

Why aren’t the morgues

Overrun and bursting?

Why aren’t the Nightingale Hospitals

Full instead of deserted?

Why did we have a month

Of the Eat Out To Help Out scheme?

A relaxation of rules in the summer?

Then a descent back into hysteria from Halloween?

It’s utterly bat-shit crazy

It’s either a pandemic or it is not

And don’t get me started on the knee-jerk vaccine!

What a very convenient twist in the plot!

Intended to be jabbed in the arm

Of every human walking the planet

Untried and virtually untested

Funded by Gates and other Silicon Valley magnates

Who are devoid of medical training

Yet who are being pressed for their ‘expertise’

Which consists of stockpiling billions

And smacks of an insatiable desire for power and greed

The rich get richer

As this global ‘emergency’ is beyond lucrative

And the poor get f**ked over once again

As their livelihoods are obliterated

And it’s actually all materialising

In glaringly obvious plain sight

Right before our (closed) eyes (for some)

Are we being plunged into this desperate

plight

The propaganda machine

That perpetuates this terror

Surpassing itself right now

As we comply en masse – a fatal error

Like lambs to the slaughter

Docile and blissfully unaware

Are those who swallow the official narrative

Sleep-walking to their doom – I despair

The dismantling of democracy

A descent into dictatorship

Freedom revoked for the foreseeable

And so many acquiesce with it

So many – but not all – thank the Lord for that!

For every herd a black sheep has

And if enough black sheep form a herd of their own

We can put a stop to this world gone mad

I’m convinced this shall definitely come to pass

For we must carefully watch those that are quiet

The majority may currently be ‘silent’

But in time I predict a riot

And by the grace of God

Sanity will prevail

We’ll win this psychological war

If it means fighting tooth and nail.

Something Changed

Funny how when you’re not looking

Something catches you unawares

Funny how when you’re minding your own business

Intensity strikes from nowhere

Funny how when you click

In the most inappropriate of situations

You find yourself on a precipice

Of unrealistic expectations

Funny how certain vibes

Pierce you to the core

Funny how you’re propelled

Into sensing / wanting more

Funny to have to wrestle

With animal instincts you didn’t invite

That somehow ignited inadvertently

And set your furnace alight

Funny then when there’s a shift

In the energy and the walls come down

When somehow there’s been an abrupt change of heart

And there’s no turning it around

Playing on words

But nothing was said

It was all in the ether

But the fire is now dead

Not sure what extinguished

The flame that had accidentally kindled

But whatever it was has been snuffed out

And the enthusiasm has certainly dwindled

Maybe an invisible line was crossed

But it’s difficult to tell

When dealing with double-entendres

You don’t always detect alarm bells

But now they’ve clearly tolled

And their chimes are deafening

Ringing in my ears

The dawning of sanity begins

It was surely sweet while it lasted

But the plug has definitely been pulled

The fluffy pink cloud has dissipated

And the amber embers have cooled

Have I been strung along?

Or are there too many strings?

A chord was struck but now it jars

With my illusion of greater things

Not sure how to proceed

It takes two to Tango, not one

I’ve got a decision to make

And a lot of thinking to do…

Flight Of The Long-Held Pee!

After holding in a wee

Whilst talking on the phone

I then legged it to the loo

But being accident prone

I didn’t quite perfect my landing

As I was so desperate for relief

So I kinda skidded then slid

Against the toilet seat

I heard a loud ominous crack

Then the whole thing kinda whizzed

Into the air and basically took flight

With my butt still on the lid!

Through the atmosphere

Legs completely akimbo!

Jeans-a-dangling

Suspended in a limbo!

Hanging by the seat and my pants

Up towards my bathroom ceiling

Skyward-bound then plummeting down

I found my sorry self reeling

Powerless to actually get off

Had to wait for the darn thing to crash

Didn’t have a parachute

So landed on my naked ass

In a heap

On the tiles

With a massive thud

Having travelled miles

I was so

Discombobulated

I didn’t realise

I’d urinated

Absolutely

Everywhere

Except in the loo

What a flaming nightmare!

I stared at the open can

In utter disbelief

The shattered and completely detached

Beyond repair toilet seat

The only silver lining

I could salvage from my mind

Was the fact that my violent docking

Was cushioned by my generous behind

Without that bulging booty

I’d have been in dire straits

I could easily have broken something

But fortunately that wasn’t my fate

The moral of this story

Is go when you need to go

Don’t hold it in until you’re bursting

Because you’re talking on the phone.

The Sequel

The Sequel

Lockdown 2

Here we come

Be terrified!

The government bangs its drum

The second wave is upon us

Everything must close

Halloween, Bonfire night,

Christmas (potentially) up in smoke!

The furloughed ‘saved’

At least until March

But what of the self-employed?

How will they fare? Will they starve?

Did you celebrate?

Your last night of ‘freedom’?

Are you embracing this ‘new normal’?

Or are you waking up to this treason?

For that’s what it boils down to

When freedom of speech is muzzled

When mixing is prohibited

And our vulnerable cannot be cuddled

When you can be slapped with a £200 fine

For failing to comply

When you’re expected to remain inside

Isolated as life passes you by

When your ‘bubble’ becomes a cage

As you suffocate within

When you sense a simmering rage

As palpable fear sets in – again

When the streets are deserted

Yet the atmosphere is tight

Because everyone’s cowering from each other

As we’re all ‘deadly’ – it isn’t right!

Nothing about this is ‘normal’

It’s oppressive and dark

It’s not about ‘health’ it’s about control

The virus is a f***ing facade!

To make us dependent

On the state

To crash the economy

Community and family obliterate

To drive us apart

Get us at each other’s throats

Silencing any dissenters

As we acquiesce – it’s a joke

And those who rose up

Who gathered in peaceful defiance

Were forcibly disbanded

Arrested, exposed to violence

But did this make the news?

No coverage at all!

Even tonight’s London protest

Buried under a wall

A blackout because it jarred

With the official narrative

That lockdowns are our ‘saviour’

But this bullsh*t is no way to live

I don’t believe this virus

Is as lethal as they say

But it’s certainly killing democracy

And bringing about doomsday

Call it conspiracy theory

Call me raving mad

I couldn’t give a monkey’s

Because this insanity is making me sad

If you think washing your hands

Incessantly will keep you safe

If you think wearing a mask

Over one half of your face

Is protection enough

For what is to come

Then remain in your slumber

And sweet dreams, hun!

For sh*t is getting real

This is but the beginning

The Winter Of Discontent

A test of endurance most chilling

Survival of the fittest

Do I predict

Stomach churning but true

A depressing edict

So hibernate if you will

Or get out there and fight

Stand shoulder to shoulder

And show them your might!