My Addiction

Thinking about my addiction
And how to kick the habit
How to stop consuming it
Before I’m totally ravaged
 
It’s making me sick I’m aware of that
But now I cannot break it
I’m reliably told it takes willpower
But I just can’t seem to make it
 
I’m aware of all its triggers
And I want to stop this action
But doing it just sometimes
Gives me satisfaction
 
Now I’m making excuses
When I’ve only myself to blame
I lit the stick, sucked on it
Now I must face the pain
 
The buzz isn’t always nice
Sometimes it just feels toxic
But I’ll still scavenge to get some
Whilst I wonder if I’ve lost it
 
I’ve tried reading books and bought a vape
But thus far I have failed
So still those drags I will take
Even though I have travailed
 
It makes me feel shitty
It makes me feel crap
It’s so absurd
I could almost laugh
 
It’s out of control
It’s getting obscene
I need some help
To quit nicotine

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