Packing to go away
The bain of my life
A middle class disaster
Causing me untold strife
Clothes strewn asunder
Can’t see the floor
The bed nor the chair
Can’t even open the door
What outfits to take?
How many pairs of shoes?
Can I live without my protein spray?
Straighteners and moose?
Toiletries weigh a ton
Perfume and deo too
Haven’t packed my undies yet
And conditioner and shampoo
My chum will be lucky –
We’re sharing a case
But what with the kitchen sink
There’s barely any space!
She stipulated ketchup
And I reckon maybe if I’m clever
I can squeeze in some sachets
But a whole bottle? Never
We split the extortionate cost
Of taking proper luggage
Almost the price of the ticket
What a load of rubbish
However it seems
She’s due a rebate
I’ll never fill just half
At this bloody rate
Just can’t travel light
I’m a freakin nightmare
10 flaming kilos
Just on products for my hair!
Then there’s the slap
Jewellery and slippers
And don’t get me started
On the spare pairs of knickers
A skip would be more apt
And a truck to transport
Fingers crossed the plane takes off
With all this crap that I’ve brought
I blame the snake
Who shamed Adam and Eve
Into covering their bits
Instead of allowing them to dangle free
Clothes are an impediment
When you’re a kleptomaniac like this
Next time I’ll holiday in a nudist camp
And bugger the baggage – what bliss!