Shelling Out


Shellac looks real pretty
It’s also tough and gritty

But when it’s chipped and shitty

You have to again dive into your kitty

Which is a pity
You can’t just whip it off

For that varnish is bloody tough

It’s made of very strong stuff

And a chisel ain’t enough

Which is rough
It requires professional help

Heavy duty acid to make it melt

Then they scrape it off which is hell

Every chunk when it’s peeled can be felt

Which makes you yelp
So you pay them to put it on

And you wear it a while which is fun

But when you’re finally done

You must pay again to make it gone

Which is a con
So enough of shellac have I had

For the expense is driving me mad

Never again will I succumb to this fad

Unless a lottery win do I have

Which is sad
It’s a waste of tinfoil after all

To have your mitts so adorned

You could almost plug them into a wall 

And power the entire street dusk til dawn

Which could cause a fireball
Then you’d be totally fried

And have no need for shellac which once tried

Is so addictive it bleeds your bank dry

Until you wake up and see the light

Which is right
Traditional nail polish is best

Though the fumes do play hell with your chest

And it don’t last as long as the rest

But at least it’s not much to invest

Which is the test

So I’m sodding the shellac

Giving gels the sack

To basics I’m going back

Using the old laq

Which is cheaper, albeit crap
That is that.

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