Wiley Whippets

T’was the dawn of Boxing Day

In misty Manningtree 

The whole house was snoozing

When I awoke for a wee

So I had one of those

Then sought out my phone

But could I eck find it

Though all over did I roam 

But in doing that

I accidentally

Left open the kitchen door

Setting Charlie free! 

And the excited whippet

Couldn’t believe his luck

As he shot towards the stairs 

And like lightening bolted up 

Galloping and gleeful

He sought out his humans 

Who were soundly sleeping 

Inside their rooms

With his generous snout

He nudged open their doors

As a mortified me 

Stood there and watched

‘Oh Lord!’, thought I,

‘They’ll be prematurely woke.

Somehow I must coax him

Downstairs – what a joke!’

For he was dying to see them

As beloved were they to him

Thus he turned on his paws

And accelerated in

To the master bedroom

Disturbing Line

Who in being licked

Got a soggy surprise

She sleepily exclaimed

‘What’s the dog doing in here?’

As I quaked in my boots

Riddled with fear

I had to fess up

I was the culprit

Who’d left open the door

Releasing the whippet

Who now had to round him

Somehow back up

Redeposit him in the kitchen

With it’s door firmly shut

But try catching a rogue whippet 

Who’s on the run

When you’ve had no caffeine

And you’re not an Olympian

Farcical it was

Like the Benny Hill show

As he ran a zillion rings around me

Because I was too flaming slow

Wearing me out 

Til I was in a sweaty heap

Til I surrendered and went in search 

of a supersized coffee

Then the little tinker

Decided to follow me 

To the target kitchen

Most obediently

So I seized the moment

Like Carpe diem

Fermed la port

Vowed never to open it again

Realised I was victorious 

In a very roundabout way

Charlie was back in his boudoir

And the Djuve-Woods in bed could stay

The moral of this story

Is never try too hard

Everything will fall into place

Although whippets will you outsmart!

Humbled Thanks

If you’re reading this forgive me

If I’ve appeared weak

If I’ve displayed my hurt 

And anger whilst feeling bleak

Been to hell and back

Through the mincing machine

Now trying to get my life back on track

And wipe that filthy slate clean

Still processing so much

Feeling fragile so to speak

But the worst is over now

And peace of mind do I seek

Wrung out, over tired

I search for inner strength

Seems I’ve forgotten how to pray 

Yet am desperate to reconnect

The thunderstorm has passed

And vindicated have I been

Bathed in compassion

Most unexpectedly

Yes, the earthquake hit

But the cavalry arrived

It’s now the aftershocks

That I hope will soon subside

And though I’m on shaky ground 

I know who’s got my back

And these angels have lifted me up

Shielded me from attack

All along I was protected

Although I didn’t know

I’ve had to face some of my worst fears

But hopefully I will grow

Thank you to all

Who’ve been there for me

I’m filled with gratitude

So overwhelmed I can barely speak 🙏💜💪🏻

F**k With Me Not!

That wonderful feeling 

When you finally snap

After tolerating bullshit

For so long you hit back

You take it on the chin

As much as you can bear

For the sake of a peaceful life

Duping twats into thinking you’re scared

When in actual fact

You simply choose your battles


Even though you may be rattled

For you’ve better things to do

Than rise to childish bate

You’re a hippy and a lover

An opt not to participate

However there is a limit

And eventually you blow

Come out with all guns blazing

Your true warrior colours on show

A force to be reckoned with

No shrinking violet are you

When you’re on a mission

There is no stopping you

So beware the little Hitlers

And one upmanship brigade

Beware those who take the piss

And those who would have you enslaved

You have a right to be here

And deserve a level of respect

You’re not a fucking number

Or a machine that fulfills requests

You’re a beautifully complex

Human being

With your own shit to deal with

And a life to lead

You shouldn’t have to apologise

Beg, borrow or steal

You shouldn’t have to bow down to others

Who feel they reign supreme

We all should be treated as equals

The hierarchy defunct and abolished

No one is better than anyone else

And such thoughts therein demolished

We’re all born, we all die

And we all need to shit

We all look the same naked

So deal with it

Money, rank

and birth shouldn’t matter

And if you believe it does

You’re as mad as a hatter

If you’re on this planet

And live and breathe

You’re worth your weight in gold

So don’t fucking mess with me.

‘Tis The Season

December descends

Advent begins 

Tinsel is hung

Jingle bells ring

Small children dream

Of Santa Claus

Big children party 

Wine is poured

The days shorter now

Dark winter nights

Trees are decorated

Adorned with lights

Gifts are wrapped

Cards are sent 

Rich food is eaten

Much money is spent

Somewhere in the mayhem

The real message is hidden

Frankie touched upon it

When The Power Of Love was written 

It captures the true essence

Of what it means to me

A sentiment that can be lost

In the consumerism and frivolity

A time to turn within

To reconnect with source

A time to process the waning year

Release it without remorse

A time to make amends

And turn over a new, blank page 

And prepare to write the next chapter

A time to begin again.

Lucid Dreams

I awakened once

But they sedated me again

So powerful was the drug they administered

My eye did close and fasten

Shut tight 

Bolted down

How I’ve struggled to reopen

The portal I had found

Blinded by them

Plunged back into the dark

But I knew I’d seen the light

And they could not extinguish the spark

My faith was strong

They couldn’t snuff it out

And there’s always a chink, you see

Even in a black hole, no doubt

And though the door is heavy

And locked from the outside

Once you’ve been awake

The illumination does not subside

There’s always a gentle glow

However dormant it seems

So close the window if you wish

For I awaken and see in my dreams.

Tired But Wired

Oh dear, have I messed up!

Caffeined to the max

Four double macchiatos and an Irish coffee

I fear a heart attack!

Supposed to be getting an early night 

But I’m wired to the moon

Charged like a Duracell battery

I’m such a dizzy spoon

With the weather so dreary

And me so glum

I drowned my sorrows

In several coffee cups

Trying to lift

My heavy spirits

Sans alcohol

But I’m over the limit

My head is buzzing

And kinda hurts

I twitch and sweat

At times I jerk

What to do?

On a Wednesday

With all this pizazz 

That is here to stay

Can’t exactly party

When I’m up at the crack of dawn

And when I’m on a detox

And I’d planned to be alone

Is there an antidote?

A sedative I can take?

Or shall I go for a 10 hour hike

And resign myself to staying awake?

Now I’ve heard that Red bull

Gives you wings

But this is pure rocket fuel

Designed for orbit and space and things

Not what you need

When you’ve a big day ahead

And what you should really be doing

Is snuggling up sleeping in bed!


The theatre beckons

A stage of a kind

Though anaesthetised 

I’m the ‘star’ if you like

With morphine dancing

Through my veins

I’ll be oblivious, hopefully 

To the pain

Under the knife 

Spark out cold

I’ll put my faith in God

That I make it home

Only six months ago

Was I in this scenario 

Never expected an encore 

And to have to undergo

This experience again

Let alone so soon

Can’t I please abstain?

Be spared the surgeon’s tool?

‘Nay’, said he, 

‘It must come out!’

‘We mustn’t waste time!’

‘Mustn’t dither about!’

So when tomorrow comes

On a gurney will I be

In tight, white spandex tights,

A backless gown and asleep

I won’t deny I’m scared

I’m bricking it in actual fact

I recall it’s like facing the gallows

You fear you’re not coming back

Yet needs must I suppose

So I’ll try hard to man up

That said, if you are inclined

Say a wee prayer and wish me luck?! 🍀