Wiley Whippets

T’was the dawn of Boxing Day

In misty Manningtree 

The whole house was snoozing

When I awoke for a wee

So I had one of those

Then sought out my phone

But could I eck find it

Though all over did I roam 

But in doing that

I accidentally

Left open the kitchen door

Setting Charlie free! 

And the excited whippet

Couldn’t believe his luck

As he shot towards the stairs 

And like lightening bolted up 

Galloping and gleeful

He sought out his humans 

Who were soundly sleeping 

Inside their rooms

With his generous snout

He nudged open their doors

As a mortified me 

Stood there and watched

‘Oh Lord!’, thought I,

‘They’ll be prematurely woke.

Somehow I must coax him

Downstairs – what a joke!’

For he was dying to see them

As beloved were they to him

Thus he turned on his paws

And accelerated in

To the master bedroom

Disturbing Line

Who in being licked

Got a soggy surprise

She sleepily exclaimed

‘What’s the dog doing in here?’

As I quaked in my boots

Riddled with fear

I had to fess up

I was the culprit

Who’d left open the door

Releasing the whippet

Who now had to round him

Somehow back up

Redeposit him in the kitchen

With it’s door firmly shut

But try catching a rogue whippet 

Who’s on the run

When you’ve had no caffeine

And you’re not an Olympian

Farcical it was

Like the Benny Hill show

As he ran a zillion rings around me

Because I was too flaming slow

Wearing me out 

Til I was in a sweaty heap

Til I surrendered and went in search 

of a supersized coffee

Then the little tinker

Decided to follow me 

To the target kitchen

Most obediently

So I seized the moment

Like Carpe diem

Fermed la port

Vowed never to open it again

Realised I was victorious 

In a very roundabout way

Charlie was back in his boudoir

And the Djuve-Woods in bed could stay

The moral of this story

Is never try too hard

Everything will fall into place

Although whippets will you outsmart!

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