My ‘tights’ are falling down
I’m indecently exposed
My bum keeps hanging out
Of my baggy pantyhose
Every time I walk
They slither down my legs
And try as I might to discreetly hoist them up
They plummet to the ground instead
My tights are falling down
If before I’d left home I’d known
I’d have doubled up on knickers
To ensure they don’t drop down
Should’ve shopped in M&S
And maybe they would’ve stayed up
Should’ve hired a crane
Or worn suspenders but no such luck
My tights are falling down
But right now there’s nothing I can do
So if you should see my bum
I sincerely apologise to you.
It’s not because they’re old
Or because the elastic has snapped
It’s because I bought them in Primark
And frankly they are crap
My tights are falling down
Like I said before
They should really be renamed ‘slacks’
Because they’re always on the floor.