I want to fall through the cracks
I want to disappear
I’m clinging on to a fake life raft
That couldn’t care less if I’m here
I just want to let go
Cut the apron strings
But with the economy in the state that its in
This thought anxiety brings
The treadmill that I’m on
Moves in circles relentlessly
I’m doing something I despise
When all I want is to be free
No one gives a monkeys
Inadequate training ensures
That I have dozens of questions to ask
Having to constantly bang on doors
That few actually want to open
Because no one gives a f**k
That the inexperienced are drowning
Tangled up in systems and stumped
And the biggest bug-bear of all
Comes from admitting when I am stuck
To be told to use my common sense
And effectively make it up
Ha, what a joke!
That no one will bat an eye
A mouthpiece has spoke
And confirmed that I won’t die
If I get certain things wrong
(A red flag to a perfectionist)
Just invent it as you go along
It’s really no bloody great risk!?
So pride in my work goes out
The proverbial open window
The one thing that I had left
In that competence I wanted to show
For if nothing really matters
In this imposing joint
I’m left beyond demotivated
And screaming “what’s the point?!”
But as I earlier said
The country’s in a mess
There really is no exit
In spite of my intense distress
Unless I just throw in the towel
And fall beneath the cracks
Slip away, stay in bed all day
For apathy here is not something I lack.