Heightened hormones aren’t funny
I’ve mentioned this before
When your moods are unpredictable
And rationality is no more
When you feel like you’ve been peeled
And you’re literally exposed and raw
When you veer from hyper to a sobbing wreck
Or throw tantrums not knowing what for
When all you want to do
Is snuggle up, cocooned in your bed
And cry yourself to sleep
Or gorge on chocolate and junk instead
When no matter what you do
You simply feel depressed
When you’re beyond tired and weary
And can’t be arsed to get dressed
When you’re swollen and puffy and sore
And can’t bare to look in the mirror
When your skin feels greasy and pimples sprout
And you swear last week you were thinner
When the cramps begin to start
And it feels like you’re going into labour
When the hot flushes cause you to weep with perspiration
And you crave the weirdest of flavours
I recommend
You batten down the hatches
Interact with no one
Thus averting disasters
For not a soul is safe
When you’re in this state
On the shortest of fuses
Bloated, full of hate
Do the world a favour
And stay inside!
Until sanity returns
And your boobs are back to their normal size!
It may sound shocking
But it’s for the best
Because every month it’s like the mark of the Beast
Is inscribed upon my head
I know not what I’m possessed by
But it’s demonic and scary to see
A virtual life sentence ‘til I hit menopause
This b**tard they call P.M.T.